For today’s parenting diaries, we’re taking a slightly different approach—focusing on one nearly impossible question: How did you know you were ready for kids?
- I included this question in our survey pretty selfishly, but I have truly loved the variety of perspectives. I find them deeply comforting because everyone has a different tolerance for the unknowns.
- From gut feelings to financial milestones, here’s how the Scoop community generously responded to the question.
“I knew I was ready when in my mid 30s I was single and wanted a family. I decided to adopt.”
“I felt the pull in my gut that we were ready.”
“I became obsessed! All I could think about, plan for, dream of, hope for.”
“You don’t. You just go.”
“I don’t ever think you 100% know but I had an idea. My husband and I met when we were 31 and got married 2 years later. We had time with the two of us after we were married but ultimately decided that we would like to add to our family. We started trying for a baby 2 years after marriage and became pregnant a year later.”
“I have always wanted to be a mom and I was lucky not to have any issues.”
“We set an age goal for when we wanted to start a family based on how many kids we want, how old we want to be when they graduate high school, and where we would be financially.”
“You don’t. You just go.”
“We were financially stable enough and felt settled in our career.”
“Once my finances were in order and I felt ready to be a mom.”
“My first memory is wanting to be a mom and treating my Cabbage Patch Kids as my children. I knew I was ready when I found the right partner who shared my vision for what kind of family we wanted and what kind of parents we wanted to be. We started trying to have kids as soon as we got married at 33 and 35.”
“I am not sure I ever felt ready. Sometimes even now I wonder how we did it all! But you dive in and make it work.”
“We felt ready in the practical sense; we were financially stable and both confident in our careers. But I don’t think anyone ever feels completely ready, no matter how much planning they do. Once we had our first, everything shifted in ways we couldn’t have fully anticipated.”
“We were married for almost 5 years and said we would try!”
“We were married for four years and as I was older, it was then or perhaps never (unless we adopted).”
“You aren’t ever ready and there’s not a perfect time. Once you make peace with that you’re ready.”
“I don’t think you ever feel ready really, we just kind of decided one day, we were nearing our mid 30s and all of our friends were having kids so it kind of forced us to decide we were ready.”
“We didn’t but we were at a max age that if we didn’t do it then we weren’t going to have kids.
Once we were married at 25, we said 30 would be a good age to have our first child. We just stuck with that plan.”
“My husband wasn’t sure if he was ready but reluctantly decided he was open to trying. But then it took us well over a year and some fertility treatment. And that process of wanting so badly made us both so much more prepared once we were lucky enough to get pregnant.”
“I felt ready when I found out I was pregnant.”
“We didn’t. Although we were already married, becoming pregnant with our first child was a surprise!”
