Parent Diaries is a new series showcasing how real people in Charlotte approach building their families & parenting. Participate.
Describe your family structure.
Married with a 1-year-old and one dog.
How much do you spend on childcare?
We’re currently paying about $1,900 per month for daycare, and we also have an incredible part-time nanny who provides one-on-one time for our daughter and helps with pickup, which adds approximately $600 per month.
Did you always want kids?
Yes!
How did you know you were ready?
We felt ready in the practical sense, we were financially stable and both confident in our careers. But I don’t think anyone ever feels completely ready, no matter how much planning they do. Once we had our first, everything shifted in ways we couldn’t have fully anticipated.
How did you decide how many kids to have + did you plan their age gap if you have multiple?
My husband and I have always wanted a big family, we’re hoping for five children. We’re planning on roughly a two year age gap, both to give my body time to recover and reduce health risks, and because we’d prefer to avoid being pregnant after 35.
How did you financially prepare for having children?
We got married young and began planning early for a growing family. We intentionally bought a home that was large enough to start our family, while keeping our housing costs under 30% of our take-home income to preserve flexibility in our budget.
- We built a fully funded emergency savings account and felt confident in the structure of our retirement accounts and additional investments.
- Because of those early decisions, we were able to welcome our first child without making major lifestyle changes. As our family continues to grow, we may adjust our budget accordingly, but the financial foundation we put in place has given us stability and options.
Does or did anyone in your family stay home with the kids? How did you make that decision?
While it’s true that no one will ever care for your children the way you do, we saw real benefits to daycare and knew we both wanted to continue working. I have tremendous respect for stay-at-home parents, but for our family, daycare was the best long-term choice.
What’s one thing you wish you knew before having kids?
One thing I wish I knew before having kids is that no one really knows exactly what they’re doing. Everyone is just doing their best to figure it out as they go. You can read all the books and take all the classes, but every child, every parent, and every situation is different. There is no single formula that works for everyone.
What’s your family’s philosophy around screens/technology and kids?
The only screen time we allow is FaceTime with family and friends, and that’s our plan until she’s at least two, then we’ll revisit screens in moderation. We made this decision before our daughter was born, and while it definitely put a damper on football season, we read the research and feel it’s what’s best for her.
Where’s the best place to vacation with kids and why?
Since we live away from family, most of our vacation time is spent traveling back to see them. We have not taken, and do not anticipate taking, any major vacations in the next few years.
What’s the most kid-friendly restaurant in Charlotte?
Seoul Food Meat Co.
What’s your favorite thing to do as a family in Charlotte?
We love spending time at the Ballantyne Bowl. It is the perfect spot for the whole family, including the dog, to take a stroll. We grab breakfast, let our daughter toddle around in the green space, and of course, she never skips a turn down the slide.
What’s the best thing about the stage of parenting you’re in? The most challenging?
Best: Watching her personality emerge! Every new expression, preference, and little spark of independence feels like we’re getting to know her more deeply, and it’s so exciting to watch her become her own person.
Most challenging: Everything changes so quickly, especially in those first 12 months. Just when you start to feel confident, like you finally understand what’s going on and have things under control, something shifts, and you’re back at square one.
Do you have parenting regrets?
We underestimated how hard it would be to start a family far from our own. We’re incredibly fortunate to have a close circle of friends in Charlotte, because it truly takes a village. But there’s nothing quite like having family; it’s a completely different ball game.
Brag on yourself. Tell me about a recent proud parenting moment!
Another priority we planned for early on was breastfeeding rather than using formula. As a full-time working mom, balancing pumping and breastfeeding was incredibly challenging, and something we definitely underestimated. Still, our goal was to provide breastmilk exclusively for the first year, and reaching that milestone felt like a huge accomplishment.
Anything else we should know?
Being a parent is equal parts challenging and rewarding, and it’s taught us to stay flexible and nimble along the way. There were things we carefully planned for early on that we’ve since adjusted, and that’s been part of the growth process too. While we’ve held firm on a few personal decisions, like breastmilk and limiting screen time, we have zero judgment for parents who choose differently. Every family is navigating its own circumstances, and everyone is simply doing the best they can for their kids.
