Child-Free Diaries is a series designed to explore the stories of those who don’t have children, by choice or circumstance.
- You can share your story anonymously here.
- Or if you have children, participate in Parenting Diaries.
At what age did you realize you didn’t want kids?
29
How did you make that choice?
I always thought I wanted children and was planning to be a mom by 28 like my own mother. I then went through a tough breakup and all my plans were flipped upside down. After being single for a couple years, I realized how much I liked my freedom and being able to travel or do whatever I wanted.
- My friends started having children around this time and I watched how much their lives changed and how much stress they were constantly under after having kids that it solidified my choice to continue living child-free.
- I have since found a partner who also has the same view about children which makes sticking with my gut 100% easier!
How did it come up while dating?
When I was dating, I would put in my profile that I was childfree so I would lead with it to make sure anyone who was interested in me knew what they’d be walking into on the kid front.
How did you discuss it with your current partner? Were they always on the same page?
When I started dating my current partner we actually were on opposite pages with kids. He wanted children and wanted to be a stay at home dad to care for them.
- He knew I didn’t necessarily want kids and we still grew our relationship.
- However the more he was around our friend with kids and saw the reality of raising he a child, he actually came around and agreed that being childfree was a better option and would allow us to live the lives we wanted to live, so we eventually got on the same page but it definitely took time and lots of conversations!
What’s something people get wrong about people who are child-free by choice?
That we are selfish and hate children. I would argue the opposite in fact, we are choosing to not add to overpopulation and are not going to pull additional resources from our community by adding children.
- We also don’t all hate children, we just realize the amount of work and money that goes into raising them and are choosing to go a different path! I will still gladly watch your kid so you can have a date night!
Do you ever have regrets?
No
What’s something you’re really proud of?
Taking the time to get to know what I truly wanted for myself in life instead of just listening to everyone’s expectations of what I should do.
