So you’ve gotten married before. You’re not one of the many young millennial couples getting excitedly engaged on Facebook–you had your wedding excitement the first time around. But that doesn’t mean just because you’ve done it before, you don’t want it to be amazing the second time around. After all, this time you’re finally getting it right, right?
There is a lot of misleading discourse out there on the subject of second and third weddings. Some people say you don’t need any of the hoopla you had for your first marriage. Other people say that you should do it even bigger and better for your second marriage. And for those people, each idea is equally veritable. However, that’s just the thing–everyone’s different. No bride wants to be pigeon-holed, no matter which number wedding it is.
For the second (or third) time at the altar, consider these ideas for your wedding, but don’t feel like you have to take any of these suggestions. We’re just here to ease the stress and hopefully help you out. You’re the bride. You’re in charge.
There are a couple things to keep in mind; a few etiquette “rules” that most experts seem to agree on. THE VEIL: Most resources we checked agree ~ the bride should not wear a veil for a remarriage, since it symbolizes purity and being “untouched.” If you want something similar, a beautiful flower crown or bejeweled headband could do the trick. As for wearing white, though, the bride still may wear her white gown. Though the color originally represented purity, before that, it was a symbol of celebration–so it’s totally fine for your second marriage. Another key “rules” question is often whether or not your father should walk you down the aisle. Since he already “gave you away” once before, it might be uncomfortable for the both of you to do it again. If so, you and your groom could walk down the aisle together, or you could strut solo, signifying that you’re going into this marriage independently.
The Ceremony, or Lack Thereof
Many times for a second wedding, couples opt to skip some of the usual planning woes and get right to the point: become husband and wife. Luckily, the pressure is off because there really isn’t a “traditional take” on how a second wedding should go — it’s really up to the couple’s personal style. In many remarriages, couples may often skip certain customary elements, like having a bridal party or an escort down the aisle, in favor of something that feels a bit more appropriate and personal.
Here are several population re-marriage wedding options to consider when planning your second time around:
Destination weddings usually take out the pressure of having to invite everyone you know. Putting a plane ticket in the mix eliminates a lot of potential guests, which makes your ceremony that much more intimate and getaway-feeling.
Ever heard of a surprise wedding? If not, it’s exactly what it sounds like: your guests have no idea that the party or event they showed up to is actually your wedding. Certainly a playful take on the traditional ceremony, a surprise wedding can eliminate the pressures of living up to everyone’s expectations and having everything perfect. Basically, you just get all your family and friends gathered in a place (tell them anything: it’s a dinner party, it’s a birthday party, etc.), then you get married! You likely won’t get gifts this way, but chances are you probably got all the kitchen appliances you could ever dream of for your first wedding. Oh, and you save a bunch of money. No save-the-dates, no sit-down dinners, no extravagant reception. Just one big, happy party with all your favorite people.
Local Fun Wedding Locales to Consider
Since it’d be silly to do something similar to your first wedding (you don’t want to draw comparisons), try a fun and different venue that will make your day one-of-a-kind. For example, you can get married at Carowinds. One couple actually said “I do” on the Fury 365 coaster just a couple months ago. Another idea is to have your ceremony inside your favorite local wine cellar–the setting in The Biltmore’s is obviously opulent, but you can pick one of your favorite vineyards from our list here for a winery wedding.
Involving Kids in Non-Traditional Ways
One way to change things up for your remarriage might be to change up the roles your kids and parents play. This time around, perhaps have your son walk you down the aisle and/or your daughter as the honor attendant. Another unique way to include your kids is to add step-parent vows to the children, where you and your new husband both include vows to your step-children ~ to take care of them, etc. The main key with including your kids in the wedding, of course, is to make sure they want to be included. If there are no sore feelings, then it’s a really sweet detail to a non-traditional wedding.
Wording your invites may be a little tricky the second or third time around. Since your parents may have paid for your first wedding but likely not your second, they might not be listed as the “hosts” of your remarriage. You can still include your parents on the invitation, but underneath you and your fiance’s names, such as, “Jane Doe and John Smith together with their parents request your attendance… etc.”
Of course, the dress. Arguably one of the most important parts of the wedding, right next to the ring and the husband. What you wear during your remarriage is totally up to your personal style. If you choose to treat yourself to a beautiful gown, you shouldn’t shy away from revered local salons like Nitsa’s–after all, it’s still your big day! You can go long, tea-length, short, suit, lace-y, sleek. You can pick any shade of cream or white you like or any color you prefer (although most brides go with muted tones). Your dress can be a gown intended for a wedding, or any dress that is beautiful and flattering. You can even go outside the box and hop into a bridal jumpsuit, romper or a two-piece trouser-and-top combo. These untraditional takes on wedding day fashion are quickly catching the attention of many brides-to-be… Why not be part of the movement? Show them who really wears the pants.
We’ve found some pretty options for your inspiration below, and have lots more on our Pinterest Board HERE.
Forget the rumor that an engagement ring is out for #2, #3 and so on. Please, did Liz Taylor or Zha Zha forego the big rock on round 5? If anything, this may be your chance to get the bling you couldn’t afford in your 20s. Or, it could be your chance to go with a less traditional stone, like a colored diamond, sapphire, ruby or emerald.
At the end of the day, all you want to do is be married. All the details never really seem to matter once you’re staring at the one you love in the eyes and thinking about how wonderful your lives will be together. Surely you remember the stress of your first wedding, so this time, just focus on the end result. There’s no reason to be stressed when you’re getting married to someone you love! Do what you want. It’s all about you and your groom.