I wore white jeans this week. And I did it just to bunge up all those â€œyou canâ€™t wear white after Labor Dayâ€ people.
I like my white jeans. They go with everything, theyâ€™re the perfect length, and because they stretch a bit, theyâ€™re never too tight when I pull them from the dryer.
So Iâ€™m not inclined to let silly, seasonal, social etiquette get in my way. And I let people know this up front. I have my Labor Day party, and then get right into those jeans as soon as possible. As if to say, I didnâ€™t forget, Iâ€™m not sneaking it in, and Iâ€™m not trying to start a new trend. Iâ€™m wearing my jeans. That happen to be white.
Iâ€™m not even sure why white got singled out. There arenâ€™t rules about any other colors. White is the blending of ALL colors, so I would think that the color that is EVERY color should be acceptable every season. So I wear what I want. And so far, I havenâ€™t been ticketed.
And you do get ticketed. People donâ€™t know this, but you can get into a lot of trouble breaking the â€œwhite after Labor Dayâ€ rule. Especially for a white shoe violation. Theyâ€™re the worst. The ticket is embarrassing. But itâ€™s nothing compared to what happens next â€“ a sort of snowball effect that you just couldnâ€™t have imagined.
It starts slow – you get word that your Garden Club is suspending your membership. That one I get, because you do sort of have to respect the code of their season. To them, if youâ€™re wearing white after Labor Day, itâ€™s only a matter of time before youâ€™re wearing florals at Christmas. Youâ€™re done.
Word gets out. Just like there are reciprocal states that share information about your driving violations, there are reciprocal communities of people that share information about your fashion faux-pas. The PTA usually gets wind of it first, and you can forget being a Room Mom. Any positions in the school with high visibility are off limits to you. So you wonâ€™t be hosting a coffee, reading to children, or working in the carpool line. Youâ€™re shelving books. After hours.
Then youâ€™re dropped from your Bridge Club. Mysteriously not invited to Wine Club, and unceremoniously kicked out of your Country Club. And then your Book Club picks â€œWhite Oleanderâ€ â€“ and you know you just canâ€™t face it.
And then you ask yourself if it was all worth it. I mean, nude pumps are year-round and make your legs appear longer. And blue jeans are acceptable any season. And then you know you made a mistake. And you pack up your white jeans and white shoes.
And wait for Memorial Day to come.